A Trend I've Been Wanting To Start

So throughout my years of being a Christian, I've been always jealous of this ability that a lot of other Christians have. Many fellow believers can quote Scripture on the fly and tell what Book, chapter, and verse it can be found! I think it's amazing, but it's always been something I've never really pushed myself to learn. However, this is something I want to change. If I can memorize a billion song lyrics, I have no excuse for not being able to memorize Scripture. It must be something I need to put into practice constantly.

So, since it's easy for me to memorize songs and I am currently going through Psalms, I started to study them over and over. And it's paying off quickly! Psalm 63 is one that has been on my mind lately and it is has brought so much encouragement to my life. If you ever take some time to read that one, it's a winner for sure. So this is something I want to stay committed to doing. Memorizing Scripture can only benefit me and equip me for sharing the gospel with less restrictions. I know some of what the Bible says and try to live my life by what I learn, but saying I can quote the Word of God would be a step in the right direction. I encourage you readers to try it out for yourself!

Misunderstood

Do you ever walk away from a situation and just feel like you were misunderstood? I find myself in that predicament all the time. I feel like I'm representing a true picture of who I am to people, but end up walking away from conversations feeling like people thought I was putting up a front. It's discouraging to think such things, but it seems to happen often. I don't know if people think I have an ulterior motive, but it feels like they assume I do. It often feels like they think that I am all talk and no action. Or, I can feel like people end up liking my stories instead of liking me. Kind of like, 'It's cool to see or hear all of the things that God has been doing in your life Kevin, but you are just blah'. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't feel like many people really know me or what I'm about.

Let me make myself clear. I am nothing, Christ is my everything. The way I talk about Christ is because I love Him, and I live for Him. My stories are real, my heart is real, and my words are real. My agenda is to serve my Father with everything I am and to show love to people the best way I can because of His example. The only thing that I want in return from people is that they seek after Jesus. I want to encourage people to turn to Truth, to find satisfaction in Him and to cast aside their worries and their burdens on the One who will take them all.

As for the things I posted above about the way I feel, well, those are just feelings. They are based off of my assumptions when I've talked to people, but they are not necessarily true. So I cannot allow myself to become too discouraged by what I assume about other's thoughts. I just wish people gave me clearer feedback and were honest with me. I don't think I would assume if I felt people understood who I am. I feel like I should get honest feedback because I am bluntly honest with others. Remember that whole "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"? That's what I'm trying here.

My thought right now is that I am kind of discouraged with people. I want to understand them, but I somehow can't get a grasp of them. I don't fit in on this planet. Jesus just take me home with You cuz I've had enough of this world. I'd rather be satisfied with You then to have to fight myself here on earth. I've just had enough of battling my selfishness and trying to look past other's selfishness. I'm giving it up to You tonight...

An Unexpected Night Of Awesomeness

Today was a long 13 hour day of work for me. But it ended with something unexpected, hence why I figured it was post-worthy. I worked at the medical office until about 6 in the pm, then headed over to a small Christian high school where they had dorms for exchange students.

First of all, I have never had many conversations with foreign exchange students. I'm not the most outgoing and chatty person, especially when there's a cultural and communication barrier.

And secondly, I never aspired to be an RA when I was at APU because frankly, I think I would've sucked at it.

So I found myself in an uncomfortable situation, yet again. It seems like God has been forcing me to break out of my shell little by little and I haven't figured out why. The students were pretty average I thought, they just spoke Chinese, Korean, etc. The girls were very quiet. The guys were defiant towards authority. And I had to try and play the part of the adult enforcing the rules, when really all I wanted to do was just listen to them.

The first part of the night I spent trying to get them to study and do their homework. They didn't want to. I joked around with them and I think it began to chip away the barrier that was there. They became more accepting of my "authority" over them. I was gaining their respect.

The second half of the night, something awesome happened. The students began to open up a little more, started asking questions, and began to converse with me. The topic of religion got brought up because one of the students didn't eat pork... because he was a Muslim. Other students began sharing their religious views or lack of, and it allowed God to speak through me.

I was sitting at a table of about 6 of them and 1 was Muslim, 2 were Hindu, 1 was Buddhist, 1 claimed to be a Christian, and the other didn't claim a religion. We began to talk a little about chapels at the school, Bible class, and church on Sundays that all of these students had to mandatorily (it's a word) go to. I asked what they thought about it. They said it was boring... typical high school answer, but there was something else there. One of them said it was hard to understand all the way. The "Christian" student was telling the others that they should be Christians. So I asked him, "What does it mean to be a Christian?" He didn't know. So he reversed the question to me. And so I shared the Gospel. All of the students listened to me which I thought was odd, because it was their free time when this conversation was happening. Why did they want to listen to anything I had to say?

I believe it's not because I'm anything special, but because God led me there and for a purpose. What else could I do but be obedient to Christ?! And once again, like He has continued to do with me, He blessed me. He let me share the Truth! He opened students ears! He used me because He knows my heart! He knows that my heart longs to serve Him and bring Him glory. He knows that I love people, and want to share His love with them. He KNOWS me!

Basically, I was blown away at the joy I found when I was talking with these kids! Maybe someday he'll send me to another country so I can serve Him there.... I have no idea what tomorrow holds. My life is His and I will go where He takes me, through good or bad, rich or poor, sick or healthy. Even if it meant me giving up the things I love, like seeing my family, one day having a wife and a family, becoming a counselor, continuing to live in California, staying in the sweet comfortable bubble of America. I would give it all up if He told me to.

I want to view every situation that God throws my way as an opportunity to serve. Because that kind of commitment to showing people love is the example Christ was showing us when He was on Earth. He could've ordered people around because He is God and He can do what He wants, but He didn't! This is Crazy Love!!! This is how I want to show people love! Lord, break my heart and rebuild it to do what it's made for- this is my prayer.

New Tunes

So I have nothing really to say today but I would like to fill you in on some great music coming out, so here goes.

Muse- The Resistance is out now, although I don't have it yet. Sounds incredible though.

Paramore- Brand New Eyes is out now!! It's great!!

Weezer- Ratitude is coming out apparently November 3rd according to a fellow =w= fan.

Carrie Underwood- Play On is coming out November 3rd

John Mayer- Battle Studies is coming out November 17th

This is all I know of current music that I'm wicked stoked about. Let me know if you have any recommendations. I love pretty much all types of music :D

Oh Praise Him!

There was a sermon I heard a couple of weeks ago that I've been pondering a lot. The sermon was on praising God. The question that was proposed was: "How often do you praise God?" We all ask God for things. Things like safety, wisdom, comfort, etc. But how often do we acknowledge how great our Creator is?! It's something I've tried to include more of in my prayer life.

It's important for me to remember that in everything I do, God deserves the glory. So now when He rains His blessings onto me, I've been doing my best to give credit to where credit is due.

Plateaus

I've been at a plateau in my spiritual walk with Christ for a little while. I don't like it. It's frustrating hitting this time of no growth. Every believer hits their times of highs and lows, but I personally think the plateau is one of the tougher things to deal with.

I want to grow more and more with Christ, but as I've been reading through Psalms, I'm not really getting a lot out of it. I'm at about Psalm 70 right now, but they aren't tugging at my heart like the earlier ones were. I'm just struggling to understand my heart, because it's obviously not the fault of God's Word. Plateaus are normal to experience. You experience them in things like relationships and when you work out. There are times of stagnation and it can be just as frustrating. I know that when I hit these moments in my walk with God, it is agonizingly frustrating because it's the most important thing about me! I really have nothing but my faith in Jesus Christ, so when I hit a wall, it crushes me.

Despite the state that I'm in, I will not give up. Just because I don't feel like reading my Bible or talking to God as much, doesn't mean I have to give into my feelings. The reason for this is because I KNOW that I am more than my own feelings. The Holy Spirit gives me strength I need daily. I also know that the love Jesus talked about is not a feeling, it's a verb. In order to make sure I'm loving my Savior, I must continue to serve Him despite the way I feel.

My prayer is that I continue to think about that word Love as a verb more so than a feeling. It gives me more of an understanding to remind me that I have made a commitment I cannot break. It's good practice to be committed to something, because I know that whenever the day comes that I get married, it will not always be easy. But the more I can understand about Love, the more my future wife will appreciate it in the end. And I know that God hears my prayers for her, that she continues to stay faithful to serving the Lord.

Maybe God allows people to hit plateaus to see if they will remain faithful to Him despite a lack of growth at the time.... and maybe that attitude is growth...

What's It Going To Be?

I caught myself in a lie the other day. I was telling someone that it was okay to acknowledge their feelings about a situation, but not to let them dictate your actions. I believe that the advice is true, but I fail to act on my own advice.

It's so tough isn't it? To not make actions based on how you feel. Feelings are real and we really cannot deny them. We must acknowledge how we feel, but too often we make the mistake of channeling our feelings into actions that reveal irrational behavior. I do this all the time. It more so often happens when I'm in a bad mood. I let others see it and am probably hurting these people! When I think about these very probable possibilities, it hurts me. I don't want to bring others down or make them feel bad. I really don't, but I find that I let my emotions get the best of me.

I believe that I've been fed this idea of living life based on feelings from an early age. How often do people ask you how you are, and you answer with how you feel? All the time right? We are asked what we are passionate about all the time. I've expressed to people that I have a passion to be a marriage and family therapist. And I do. It's how I feel and I cannot deny that I feel this way. However, to base my life off of merely a passion for it, is absolutely foolish! There has to be logic and reasoning...aka wisdom behind passion in order for something to work.

Think about it. How much better would things be if people reflected on their feelings and challenged those feelings to truth....aka the Bible! If people kept commitments to things, and didn't bail out when they feel "it just isn't right anymore", I believe their lives would be better. How many bogus marriages would be prevented, how many marriages would stick it out through the rough times, how many Christians would continue to read their Bibles and pray even when they don't feel like it, how many people would pursue further education because they know that with dedication and more experience, they would become smarter and better people in the long run? I could give a lot more examples, but I think you understand what I mean right?

I say all of this to save yourself from further heartache and embarrassment. Your feelings are real. They don't lie to you and nobody else can tell you how you feel. It's unique to yourself, and therefore is seen as something proven to be true. Your feelings are true. But, an action + your feelings = something unknown (not necessarily a wise decision). Your feelings shouldn't be giving you advice you take right away. Test it to wisdom! Jesus did not feel like dying on the cross, but He did it. Why? Because He was committed to it. What He felt was real. What He did was incredible! If He would've followed the advice of His feelings, then we would all still be lost!

Do you get it yet?! Do you feel overwhelmed?! It's tough to do, because satisfying our feelings makes us "feel" good. But sometimes the best thing to DO is opposite of how you feel. And that is the what makes you who you are. Can you step up and be committed to something bigger than yourself? I want to say that I can, but it's tough to do and I fail a lot. But if I gave up on trying, then I'm just letting my feelings lead me. I want to be led by Truth. I want to be led by Christ! Take your pick- Do what you want to do 0r Do what Christ wants you to do. There's only one right answer.